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Karaoke with a feminine twist!
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Okay, so these two fine young women got bored one night, and for some really weird reason they we're drawn into the bulletin boards at the Tampax site. We (er, they) were like so inspired by the whole menstral processes, that we decided to start writing our own lyrical take-offs to songs that are widely known, with a more modern touch. And so this page was born. You could call us nuts, but hey, it was bound to happen eventually.
Click a title to see the lyrics! And be sure to sing 'em to the tune they're spoofed on! Enjoy, and eat your heart out Weird Al!
Menses Yourself/Flow, Flow, Flow/Even More Flow/Menstruational Girl/The Blood Bloat/Bloody Shaving/Note & Disclaimer (Not a song)
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MENSES YOURSELF ~ FOR THE MUSICALLY MODERN WOMAN!
(Inspired by 'Express Yourself' by Madonna ~ Spoofed by )
--C'mon, girls, do you believe in blood?
Well, I got somethin to say about it, and it goes somethin like this:
Don't go for second best, baby,
put your pad to the test
you know, you know you got to....
Go out and buy Tampax brand,
so maybe then you'll know your pads are real.
Long, thin super with the really big wings
no, I'm not impressed
with those things....
Satin silk weave, very romantic,
But where does the icky stuff go?
What you need is a big strong pad, to
lift you to your drier ground.
Make you feel like a queen on the throne
Just don't flush 'em or they won't go down!!!
Don't go for second best, baby
Put your pad to the test
You know, you know you got to.....
Go out and buy Tampax brand
so maybe then you'll know your pads are real.
(repeat, then end)
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FLOW, FLOW, FLOW ~ FOR THE KIDS!
(Inspired by 'Row, Row, Row' ~ Spoofed by )
Flow flow flow your pad, gently down the stream...
Use the Tampax brand instead, but please don't split a seam!
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EVEN MORE FLOW - THE NEW VERSION OF A POPULAR HIT!
(Inspired by 'Even Flow' by Pearl Jam ~ Spoofed by )
Feelin', breasts hurt, wearing a 'pillow' made of concrete, again
Oh, Feelin' maybe I'll have a better seven days, ooh yeah
Oh, hand out, pads that she sees once again ain't that familiar, oh yeah
Oh, dark grin, she can't help, when she's flowin' feels insane, oh yeah
Even flow, it arrives without butterflies
Oh, she don't know, so she spaces far away,
Someday yet, she'll begin a life again
Life again, life again...
Kneelin', looking for a tampon though she doesn't like to bleed, ooh yeah
Oh, prayin', now for something that has never had any wings,
Oh, feelin', understands the weather of the periods on the way,
Oh, douchings, few and far between all the medical bills of shame, yeah
Even flow, it arrives without butterflies
Oh, she don't know, so she spaces far away,
Someday yet, she'll begin a life again
Whispering words, gently lead cramps away
Cramps away, cramps away...
Yeah!
Woo...ah yeah...soak it up...
Even flow, it arrives without butterflies
Oh, she don't know, so she spaces far away,
Someday yet, she'll begin a life again, yeah
Oh, whispering words, gently lead cramps away
Cramps away, cramps away...
Yeah!
Woo...uh huh...yeah, yeah, mommy, mommy...
~*~
MENSTRUATIONAL GIRL ~ C'MON BABY!
(Inspired by 'Material Girl' by Madonna ~ Spoofed by )
Some pads bunch and
some pads shift and
that is not okay.
Now what I need is a real great pad
to make my bloody day....
you know that we are living in a
menstruational world, and I am a
menstruational girl
You know that we are living in a menstruational world
and I am a menstruational girl
I went to the hygenic aisle
in my pharmacy...
They had stuff with the dryness core but
none made just for me-e-e.
At home my mom gave some advice,
she told me something nice.....
she gave me something even greater
with an applicator.
'Cuz everybody's living in a menstruational world
and I am a menstruational girl
Ya know that we are living in a menstruational world
and I am a menstruational girl....
(repeat, end)
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THE BLOOD BLOAT ~ FOR THE TV THEME FANS!
(Inspired by 'The Love Boat Theme' ~ Spoofed by )
Blood...exciting and new...
Feelin' bloated? We're expecting YOU!
And blood...life's neatest reward...
Let it flow...it flows back to you!
The Blood Bloat!
Soon we'll be making another run!
The Blood Bloat,
Promises something for every woman...
Feel the force of the hormones, your mind on a new bod-y...
And blood...won't hurt anymore...
It's the Pamp-er-rin-you've been looking for...
It's blood!
Welcome aboard, it's blood...bloooooood!
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BLOODY SHAVING ~ WE CAN ALL RELATE!
(Inspired by '' ~ Spoofed by )
Yeah, I'm shaving,
but I can't even figure why.....
I get it all shaved off,
but it grows back again.....
Yeah, I'm shaving,
not another nasty cut....
should've used that shaving gel,
my legs are turning into scabby hell....
y'know it doesn't make sense and it just isn't clear
Why I complain so loudly but no one will hear
day after day, hour after hour,
the hair's growing back, on it's own free power!
see, I never thought hair'd have such a control on me
hair has made my life just not my own.....
maybe one of these days I'll save my money up,
till I can afford electrolysis!!
(Repeat first verse, end)
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